Yuanfen - Usage

Usage

• The proverbial saying "Have fate without destiny" refers to couples who were fated to come together, but not destined to stay together, and as such is sometimes used as a break-up line.
• Upon meeting a person (of either gender) who is hard to find, one might aptly exclaim: "It is yuánfèn that has brought us together!"
• When one encounters another repeatedly in various locations such that it seems to be more than coincidence, one can refer to yuánfèn.
• As a counter-example, when two people know each other, e.g. as penpals, but never have the opportunity to meet face-to-face, it can be said that their yuánfèn is too superficial or thin.

The proverb: 百世修来同船渡，千载修得共枕眠 (pinyin: bǎi shì xiū lái tóng chuán dù, qiān zǎi xiū dé gòng zhěn mián)

• Literally: It takes hundreds of rebirths to bring two persons to ride in the same boat; it takes a thousand eons to bring two persons to share the same pillow. This goes to show just how precious yuánfèn is.

• An alternative of this proverb is: 十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠 (pinyin: shí nián xiū dé tóng chuán dù, bǎi nián xiū dé gòng zhěn mián),which means literally: ten years of meditation (or good deeds) bring two people to cross a river in the same ferry, and a hundred years of meditation (or good deeds) bring two people to rest their heads on the same pillow. It conveys the same message.

• It is important to note that although yuanfen is often used in the context of lovers' relationships, the concept itself is much broader and can refer to any relationship between people under any circumstance. For example, yuanfen can be thought of as the mechanism by which family members have been "placed" in each others lives. On the other hand, even two strangers sitting next to each other on a short-haul plane ride are also thought to have a certain amount of yuanfen. The line of reasoning follows roughly as such: out of the six billion or so people living on this planet, the odds of two specific persons riding in an airplane together are astronomically small. Thus, two specific persons riding together on a plane have beaten out all odds to end up in those specific seats. If, in addition to their chance encounter, they happen to strike up an engaging conversation and find that they have common interests--perhaps in cinema, music, and/or photography--it makes their meeting all the more precious, and the depth of their yuanfen all the more noteworthy.